To the Class of 2020
It all happened so fast.
Just a week ago you were heading into your final spring before graduation.
And in what seems like an instant, you walking in an unfathomable uncertainty.
Many of you who are high school seniors face the loss of your spring activities and an abundance of questions.
Will there be a senior prom?
Is graduation even still happening?
Is this the end of the memories you and your friends are going to make together in high school?
And so many more.
Others of you quickly learned you needed to vacate your dorms, shift to online learning, and say goodbye to your friends.
No final class. No last day of school. No time to process and say goodbye.
It was all gone - just like that.
Is college over?
It wasn’t supposed to be this way.
To make things more difficult, it’s hard to really talk about all of this when hundreds and thousands of people are getting sick and even dying.
We have no idea how COVID-19 is going to end.
This feels small in comparison so maybe you feel pressured to just pretend it didn’t happen.
It’s hard to talk about, but honestly it’s important that you do.
One college senior that I know was willing to be vulnerable, saying;
Now I just feel mad about how everything is being canceled. It’s ruining the end of my senior year - which is pretty selfish considering the circumstances, but it’s still how I feel.
I have a sneaking suspicion many of you relate to her.
You might be angry. You might be sad. You might be depressed.
But maybe you feel that it’s too selfish to voice that, or even to feel that.
Don’t believe that for a second.
It’s okay to have these emotions because it’s how you feel.
A mentor of mine had an annoying but helpful way of directing me as I dealt with different challenges and emotions. She would say, “Why don’t you just sit with that for a while?”
Um. No. I want to fix it. I want answers. Many of you want that as well.
When will this all end? Is there any chance we go back to school? Is this whole thing even a big deal? What am I supposed to do right now?
I have no answers for you, but what I can say is that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
And maybe you just have to sit with this for a while.
Yell, scream, punch something.
Vent to someone, write an angry note to your school (probably don’t send it though…)
Cry, eat some ice cream, or go for a run.
Just don’t pretend this isn’t hard for you. We know it is, and it’s okay.
To the moms and dads who have no idea how to lead their senior through something like this, or who maybe are struggling just as much (or more) than their child - it’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to feel sad, frustrated, confused by what has happened with your child.
I do have advice for parents though, which also applies to those who are close with someone in the class of 2020.
I’ll give you the words of author and academic Brené Brown, who speaks about the role of faith in times of grief.
It can be easy for us to expect our faith to carry us out of hard times, but Brown says;
I thought faith would say, I’ll take away the pain and discomfort. But what it ended up saying is that I’ll sit with you in it.
Your faith is there to come alongside you. God is going to sit in the pit with you.
So go and do the same with the loved one in your life who finds themselves in this pit.
Don’t try to pull them out.
Don’t promise them better days ahead.
Don’t present scenarios where things get better.
Just sit with them. Love them. Listen to them.
Allow them to feel, to grieve this loss.
For them it’s very real.
To the class of 2020.
We are sorry this has happened.
Many of us truly don’t understand how hard this is for you.
But we’d love to sit with you and listen.
We can’t fix anything for you.
But we can remind you.
That you are not alone.
And you are loved.